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01:56am 01/04/2009
  I'm a strange person, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.  
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02:03am 28/12/2008
  I think this week will be a week of change. Whether it is change for the better or worse I do not know. Then again I could be wrong, we shall see. In either case I do believe it will be quite fun.  
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04:13pm 11/12/2008
  Once again I have let this thing lie fallow and come back to it to write occasionally. That said let's get down to business. Yesterday I was diagnosed with diabetes. I was not surprised by this news, lots of diabetes in the family. That said I find it interesting that the symptoms appeared so suddenly or at least recently. It all began with me being very thirsty on Thanksgiving, like drinking a whole pitcher of tea and even more water thirsty. That thirst sorta stayed with me and eventually was joined by the frequent need to piss, like every hour. Then dry mouth which remained dry despite the consumption of like 3 bottles of water in a row. Eventually it turned to tiredness and lack of energy for no reason. Then I went to a doctor and got checked for and was confirmed to have diabetes.

Then it was off to a hospital to get injected with water and the thirst subsided. Afterward I drank some water and it tasted good, the first time it had in a while. That's my story but at least I can still eat chicken.

PS. I remain as upbeat and relaxed as ever.		  
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Brotherly Gustatorial Rivalry   
05:24pm 02/09/2008
  Those of you who know me know that I am the sort of person who enjoys conflict. Conflict does not necessitate violence or even argument however. A somewhat ongoing example I have of this particular enjoyment of mine is a rather odd, and probably one-sided, rivalry I have with my brother.

For the longest time Matt would only eat fries, pizza(Without cheese or toppings just the sauce), bread sticks, snack food, and peanut butter sandwiches. A rather small selection indeed. I had a somewhat larger palette mainly because I would eat meats and a few fruits(sickness-riddled mind thinks there is innuendo there but is uncertain). The reasons for our limited selection was not so much one of taste as it was texture. Vegetables have this nasty hard bullshit texture to them much like gristle or bone.

That said I was always pleased that I was better than my brother when it to such matter. Recently, thanks mostly to his girlfriend-become-wife he has started to eat healthier. He now eats chicken and steak and it's all very unfortunate from my point of view. Because now we are equal, and I can't have that. So now I have been forced to find a way to eat damnable vegetables. That said I've found the best way to eat them is via croutons whose crunchy texture overpowers the shittasticness of vegetables.		  
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What abOut love?   
02:44pm 18/08/2008
  The many voices in my head tell me we have a special guest in the house tonight... James Fennemore Harper!

*Wait! Wait, no. Thats completely wrong. The wrong gender/time period/person/words/meaning/medium/method of madness. Let's try again shall we.*

Why hello there you various potentially anonymous viewership. Once more it seems I that my subconscious intellect/urges/imps/hobos have determined it proper for me to impart to you my views on a subjectively important subject.

*There we go, a much better start to be sure. At least now it won't end in singing.*

A post of this nature has been carouseling about in my mind for some time but it never seemed quite proper. Not that it seems any more proper now, but now is when the urging had commenced so now is when it shall be written. I do not remember if I have written on this subject before and i do not care to check, it is possible but I deem it unlikely.

So let us begin to discuss that most unusual of all things, love. It is, to me, interesting that there is no standard definition of love. It isn't surprising but the lack of a clear meaning when so much of society and life seems to be aimed towards finding such a thing make it all seem a bit...frivolous? If "All you need is love" then what kind of love? The love of family? The love of friends? For that matter are friend love and family love different? Should they be? Or what about romantic love? Which is most important? Why is it the most important?

I think it to be inevitable in face of such impossible questions that I decided to use a different system of love. I prefer to love everyone I meet and get to know in the slightest. From there I simply allow love to grow as appropriate given the interactions between us.

This naturally affects my search for a mate. I do not choose any particular one to be the object of my affection or lust until such time as something of that sort happens. Instead, in my single state, I merely have preferences and "that might be nice" scenarios play out in my head from time to time.

This generally means that the more time I spend with a female the greater a preference I adopt as they are on my mind more. That said it also can be very difficult to get out of my own mind when it comes to such things. too many variables and doing foolish things like waiting for the perfect moment. Given that I admit that no moment will ever be perfect it seems more likely that if I am to date again I would most likely have to fall into it or need some impetus that would force my hand.

Neither scenario seems very likely, though both have played out in different variations in my head. As such I have no problem believing that I will be single for some time, but I suppose I am unconcerned. Or maybe I am it is hard to tell. And it changes of course, changes all the time.

Well this took entirely too long to write and came out more awkward than expected, but there you go, I suppose.		  
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In Memoriam   
10:52pm 04/08/2008
  There are many things that could be said about my father. He was, as most people are, a complex person neither wholly good or bad. He did what he thought was best for the family which is more than many can say.

Of those descriptions that best suite my father I will say that his strength and his pride are the two that I find most acknowledgeable. He had the strength or will or spirit to survive for 24 years longer than anyone thought he could. He led a more successful life than a lot of people who have the full use of their bodies. He did not give up and he did not back away from hardship.

I would like to think I have inherited some of that strength, but I know I have inherited his pride. My father was a man who was always right, just as I am always right. Just as my brother is always right. In this I would like to think I have improved upon my father's model by at least accepting the possibility that I could be wrong.

My father was not a religious man. I think he did believe in God but he did not trust those who claim to spread his word. In this we are also in agreement, though he out of a history of the failures of such and me out of a dislike for arrogance.

It has been a long twenty years, farewell.		  
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An ending   
05:35pm 30/07/2008
  If it is any consolation at least my father's death was not as drawn out as it could be/ He died this morning around 4 AM. Tomorrow I go with my brother to sign cremation papers.

It is a strange thing to receive such news, I think. Perhaps moreso for me because I know what I should feel, but I don't/ Their should be sadness or somesuch instead only a slowly rising anger, anger that has no proper target and as such anger that should not be released. And even that anger dies out soon enough, for it is a product of my emotional side. The side which is overridden by my more logical thinking side.

Is it a terrible thing to consider oneself a sociopath? Not that I have any planned killing sprees, rather a detachment from those emotions. That begs the question of whether or not a sociopath can be made because if so my chances of being one increase as I remember times in my younger years when I cried and allowed myself to simply emote. Such days are in many ways over.

But I digress. I am even uncertain if drinking, or other illegal, would be an appropriate response. After all my Pride would say that I do not need such things to cope. Indeed I am already finished coping. Who knows.		  
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Inevitablility and Rangst   
10:55pm 29/07/2008
  This is not going to be a very fun entry, mainly because I am not in a fun mood.Though for the sake of continuity I will provide a small joke. I have forged a new word "Rangst" it should be a fairly obvious combination, rage and angst. I use that word because LJ is for angst and I am feeling ragey, so there you go.

From here I will make a disclaimer, this entry will be filled with more nonsensical accusations and fanciful speculation than most. But well I get a pass because I overthink things like a fiend and it's been a while since I've had a proper situation to be angry about.

My father is dying, and yes everyone is dying, but his is a more immediate death. He had been in the hospital for a while now due to some sort of infection, but they discharged him over the weekend and then he was right back in. Then some time last night his heart stopped and he lost flow to his brain for "at least" 15 minutes. That they don't know exactly how long he was out and that he lost it for at least 15 minutes to me seems highly suspect. It implies to me either negligence or poor judgment on behalf of the nurses or doctors.

Alternatively it could mean that one of my father's complaints was not so hallucinatory/exaggerated, on or both terms could apply as my father was hallucinating about the orderly though he did seem lucid while talking about him and my father's side has a bent toward exaggeration. To put it simply my father said an orderly at his facility had threatened him and now I am more concerned about it than previously.

That said the fact that it took at least 15 minutes to correct said heart failure is also as frustrating as the fact that my father's living will said no chest tube and the people working did in fact put in a chest tube. The reasoning behind this could range from a lack of knowledge to wanting to keep his organs fresh to padding bills. Either way now they have taken out the chest tube and he is still breathing. No brain function but he is still alive. So now instead of a quick death he gets to slowly waste away something a man like my father wouldn't want.

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

PS. At this time I am not my normal (il)logical self so attempts to explain behavior would be ill-advised		  
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"A long 'awaited' answer"   
12:57am 17/07/2008
  Well if you tuned in last time you all know I put forth a question as to what a poorly conceived conversation was about. If you didn't tune in then I'd suggest you click on the name and rad the previous entry before continuing.

Sadly you all either failed to respond or failed epically on attempting. That said they were talking about the ritual known as confirmation. I do not believe that deciding ones religion is a choice that should be made at an early age. I had more to speak on this subject at one time, but I feel not the insight to do so.		  
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"Assumptions assumptions" also "on blogs"   
12:14am 13/05/2008
  "They are too young to be doing this sort of thing"

"Now why do you say that?"

"They aren't able to think clearly about it they aren't old enough to rally get what it means. They haven't developed enough."

"Sure they are, and you just don't think can think clearly."

"No, they don't have the benefit of experience and the lack of emotionality being grown up brings. They can't make a good choice based on what they know now, and let's not even start on all the pressure they're being put under."

"What pressure?"

"What pressure?! Everyone expects them to go through with it. They can hardly be expected to hold out, some are just gonna do it because it's expected. That is one of the worst reasons to do it. They should wait because it's the sort of decision a person should only make of their own free will, and with all of their heart behind it. None of this, I guess stuff they should really mean it."

Now just what do you boys and girls think this little conversation is about? There may be an incoming rantish, not radish and holy shit there's a word "obscurantism" and I don't know what it means but it's automatically awesome perhaps even fucking awesome, thing about it next time, or not we'll see.

Moving on:

It has come to my attention through various sources, root parallels and the like, that that quite a number of those I know have begun to start blogs. Indeed some may even call it a trend, though one that has been going on for quite some time outside those I know. That said there is in many cases the wish to be somewhat anonymous on these blogs, or at least a prevalence of pseudonyms.

This use happens for various reasons sometimes including a desire for secrecy. There is however a significant problem with this trend. As more people become connected to each other, through one way or another, on these blog sites it will become increasingly hard to hide who you are. So as the blog circle or wheel continues to grow it would be wise to be more ah careful with what is put in such blogs.

With that said I obviously don't heed my own advice as nearly all entries I have made are open to the public consumption and unless something zany happens that is how they will continue to be. In the same way I will not, I believe, move away from Livejournal despite some, usually rightful, perceptions about the immaturity/emoness of those who use this site. If people think I'm emo they don't know me and I get a good laugh.

Now I have to decide if I'm hungry or not and if I am what I shall consume to relieve said affliction. This is or was Eric T. Boyce and you'll be hearing from me again		  
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Might as well   
04:23pm 18/04/2008
  There seems to be a lot of bad things happening to people I know at this time. That's never a good thing as they become sad, and when my friends are sad I want to make them feel better. I can't usually, for a variety of reasons, and I;m not exactly the most empathic person. I am very sympathetic, or at least I think so, and will offer to help and such but I can't really feel very sad. I can either block out such feelings or twist them into some other emotion. I don't cry, I refuse this for reasons that I don't intend to share to the voracious public.

That said something bad did happen to me recently. My chair, which has served me for a year and a half broke earlier this week. Well it broke in the sense that an escalator can break. Like an escalator becomes stairs my chair became a stool, the back and handrails broke. So now I get to cause spinal damage until summer. Luckily that's only until like May 2nd I believe so I'll only get a small hunch back.

I'm not really sure where to go from here, or how I got here in the first place. So I'll catch you cats on the flip side.		  
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From Meris   
07:58pm 07/04/2008
  ( I wonder )  
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Oh sleepless night   
03:07pm 18/03/2008
  This entry is divided int two parts. This part is my usual bantery and observations session but afterwards you will find on of them thar cuts. Inside that cut is a paper I wrote yesterday for my abnormal psych class, it's not a research paper, it's just different. That said I should warn you it's 12 pages long while double-spaced so read only at your whim as this will not be on the final exam.

That out of the way, I had a funny idea for a prank that the police could pull on college students. They park one of their cars in a moderately used street and find a way to hide inside the car, making it look empty. When the naturally curious college student, possbily drunk, approaches the car to either walk past it or see if anyone inside they jump out oh hiding and scare the student shitless, what fun. On an unrelated note I'm crashing into my mattress after my 6oclock meeting is finished.

( Long ass one day paper-story-nonsense-thing that gets less lucid as you go maybe I don't know I didn't read it I just wrote it )		  
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Random thought   
01:17pm 17/03/2008
  So today in my legislative prococesses class, which is a great class and I highly recommend all you William and Mary students take it, there was a small spider. I first noticed it before class began.

It dropped down from the ceiling and hung around a couple feet in front of me, suspended in air, for a bit. It wriggled and looked like a very small crab, I found it kinda cute. It then began hauling itself back up it's strand. Before it reached the ceiling it dissappeared from view due to coloring, size, and the lighting. It remained out of vision for a while before coming back down and repeating its first steps. I'm not sure why it did this, or why I'm commenting on it, apart from a request for more entries, but it was distracting. About 2/3rds through the class it stopped coming back down, a most sad thing though probably in the best interest of the spider.		  
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Ahahahahaha   
11:41pm 15/03/2008
  As I write this I am awaiting a call from a guy named Stanimir. When I get this call I shall be pleased, for I shall shortly have a pizza and breadsticks. How do I know Stanimir is going to call me? When you order Domino's online there is now a pizza tracker which tells you what stage your pizza is in and who is doing it . Today my delivery expert is Stanimir.  
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Because   
01:52am 04/03/2008
  1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
3. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I will tell you my first memory of you.
5. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
6. If I do this for you, you must post this on your LJ.		  
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Swemdate   
02:24pm 24/02/2008
  Well my brother's getting married in 6 days. I'm a groomsman which is something. In a rather punny turn of events he's marrying Mary, which got old roughly the second time I thought of it, which is unfortunate as I get slightly annoyed whenever I think about the marriage because of it. At any rate I'll be related to Mrs. Neely by law soon, which I find amusing well I don't actually as I never had her but the reactions of other make it amusing, as is the norm.

In other news playing Wii tennis vehemently is the only proper way to play it. It's rather funny because the Wii would have been perfect for me in my younger years where I got overly excited when playing a game at times and stood up and swayed or somesuch. That said I may now be involved in a D&D game, but we'll see how that goes. Stephen Lynch's D&D song is funny, but there are two versions of it which is quite good as far as I'm concerned.

This entry is me procrastinating away from looking up info on the Three Gorges damn. On the plus side I did find out that China used knives as currency at one point, making that era inherently awesome, and making mugging rather difficult. Well I should work, I suppose. I'll be watching you children, so be sure to behave.

Edit: Circumcision decreases the chance of catching AIDS. Ahaha hahaha hahaha		  
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10:08am 31/01/2008
  My schedule this semester is oh so crazy:

Monday:
10-10:50 Communication
11-11:50 Legislative processes
2-2:50 Latin 102
4:30-5:50 Politics of China and Japan


Tuesday:
9:30-10:50 Abnormal Psych
2-2:50 Latin 102

Wednesday
11-11:50 Legislative processess
2-2:50 Latin 102
4:30-5:50 Politics of China and Japan

Thursday
9:30-10:50 Abnormal Psych

Friday
10-10:50 Communication
11-11:50 Legislative processes
2-2:50 Latin 102

No two days the same.

Also I'm in a play which happens to be running the 14th, 17th, and 19 of Feb around 7:30ish. It should be great fun and I would suggest seeing it if you can, which most of you can't.

On the subject of classes I'm finally starting to see some of the really good teachers that this place is known for. I should be getting a lecture from an ambassador sometime in the future, so that should be awesome. Also you can blame filibusters on Aaron Burr.		  
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07:31pm 07/01/2008
  Post five random facts about yourself, then tag three people to do the same. Your facts should be secrets to most of the people who will read them. Don't bother with boring things--the juicier, the better!

1) I would sell my seed to a sperm clinic if there was one nearby
2) I will refuse to buy a product, or see a movie if a commercial of it offends my sensibilities
3) I masturbate at least once a day usually
4) I put very little effort into any actual sort of stalking that people claim I do
5) I do not fear death

Tagging... Meghan, Meris, and Eddy		  
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Dream   
01:44pm 29/12/2007
  I had a dream this morning. It was a strange mixture of TV show, mostly Journeyman and That 70s Show. It boiled down to there being two time-traveler types me and Eric Foreman. However we were trying to stop so strange serial killer from killing off this old couple. My memory of is it fading, but I think we failed to protect the woman of the couple. In a fun twist I was going to sleep in the dream just as my alarm went off.  
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